This last module focused on Self-Empowerment. It was also very intense, but in a lighter,
brighter sort of way. We focused on prosperity/abundance
and being prosperous on a soul level. I
am happy to report that for the most part, the aftermath of this module was actually pleasant and
soothing, rather than feeling like I had been down in the trenches. Words cannot express enough how grateful I
have been that the healing this time around was definitely more gentle and
expansive, and enlightening. Since we did a lot of
meditations that were specific to abundance and prosperity, I visualized my
entire family being prosperous and abundant.
I left this module feeling absolutely radiant, and my heart full of love
for my family.
Fast forward to present day, and the lightness and heart
full of love for my family is still going strong, except for a minor hiccup
this past week-end. I began having
stomach/navel pain/issues, and a feeling of heaviness. Different than an actual flu or illness, I immediately recognized it as being energy-related, and that meant that more
deep healing was taking place. I
retreated and laid low for the week-end, honoring my need for solace and
healing. Then Monday came and just about
knocked me off of my feet, just in time for my job to require me to be onsite
instead of at home. Wonderful.
Taking the tools I had used from my intense healing crisis
last month, I brought forth a lot of breath work and prayer. I asked for guidance as I felt intense
stomach/navel discomfort, as well as anxiety around my family/marriage. The marriage anxiety was completely
perplexing, as I have such a strong relationship/friendship with my husband. We have a beautiful marriage and I love him
deeply. The fear of losing him was so
strong that a few times I had retreat to a private space and cry my eyes out,
letting the feeling flow through me. I
kept reminding myself not to get attached to the feeling, just let it flow. Easier said than done, but somehow I managed
to do it. By the time the evening rolled around, normalcy had been restored and
I was feeling much better.
I felt great this morning until about 9 when that tumultuous
wave of anxiety washed over me again. I
began to pray again, asking for healing and guidance to come. I did a brief round of Sitali Pranayam
(cooling breath), and immediately felt the anxiety abate. Then guidance came, clear as day. For me, being in a strong marriage and having
such a tight bond with my husband and children is the highest level of
prosperity. This little healing crisis held
a mirror right to my face to show me that I still have fear around losing my
family, and it was time to look at it. It
was incredibly painful, to say the very least.
I was also given the guidance that in order to be at the highest level
of prosperity, there was still some old darkness that needed to be brought to
the light.
I knew I had more healing to do, and
that healing would result in healing for my entire family, but I had to just surrender. Another thing that is easier said than done, especially for me! I had to
remember that the fear is not me and I am not the fear; it was just old energy
that needed to clear. Conscious
detachment, I guess you could say. At that moment, I
looked in that mirror head-on dead-center and vowed that this
crap would be cleared once and for all, for the sake of my family. They deserve nothing but the highest level of
love possible, and come Hell or Holy Water high, that is what they will
get. Nothing less.
Immediately, I felt more love than I have felt (ever) wash
over me, and I felt my heart swell almost to the point of bursting with love for my family. I felt my solar plexus/naval soften and
expand, and the tenderness I felt in that moment for my family was akin to that
feeling of love I felt when I held my son for the first time. I feel like my capacity to love fully without
the shadows of fear has been reborn. I
feel like all of the childhood wounds I’ve had surrounding family, including
but not limited to the fear of losing them or somehow it being taken away from
me, have been surrounded in a comforting, unconditional, all-consuming love. The icy fear/wounds I’ve been carrying around for over three decades have (FINALLY) begun
to melt.
I’ve been told that when I heal and raise my vibration, my
entire family/community will reap the benefits.
If my children and husband are able to live with more love than they
ever thought possible, the kind of love that makes them feel like they are prosperous
by just being alive simply because I’ve taken the steps to heal my wounds and
fear, I will cheerfully welcome any forthcoming healing crisis with open arms. If
this isn’t prosperity of the highest kind, then I don’t know what is.
